The Turtle

Howdy. I’m the Turtle. Ranunculus Turtle, to be exact, but no one knows how to spell that, let alone say that, so they just call me “Turtle.” On occasion, they call me “Snapping Turtle,” but I’m fairly calm today.

Although capable of surprising speed when food is involved, I took a while to climb the stairs to the Granny Flat here at The Cheesecake Thickens. Yes, the food is good, but the view hasn’t turned out to be quite what anyone expected. The adoring crowds chanting our names and throwing little pickles are noticeably absent. Taller buildings with penthouse apartments block good chunks of sky and excite a certain sense of restlessness. We may sip tea and nibble cheesecake, but it’s in between marketing pushes and all-night writing sessions and wrestling with bloated expectations.

My decision to climb these stairs was a long, hard process. It’s far easier to graze for fallen strawberries and chocolate on the ground than go hunting out the table top, but – as much as I might wish otherwise – I don’t think life is meant to be easy. I think we’re supposed to struggle.

I will rest here in the flat for a little while, but not forever, I hope. I suspect if I move enough furniture or wall coverings or bookcases, I’ll find a door hiding a set of stairs leading inward and upward. Naturally, I’ll be forced to climb them in search of bigger strawberries and better-quality chocolate.

Until then, have a seat, have a cup of tea and keep your hands off my plate or you’ll find out just how hard I can snap. Turtles don’t share food.

Except for tomatoes. Take as many of those as you like.

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Categories: Random Stuff | 8 Comments

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8 thoughts on “The Turtle

  1. I will rest here in the flat for a little while, but not forever, I hope. I suspect if I move enough furniture or wall coverings or bookcases, I’ll find a door hiding a set of stairs leading inward and upward. Naturally, I’ll be forced to climb them in search of bigger strawberries and better-quality chocolate.

    That sounds like a traditional-style puzzle/treasure-hunt text adventure game!

  2. adaydream

    “Turtle, Turtle, Turtle, Turtle” (pickles are thrown into the air with great abandon).

  3. Ralene Burke

    Glad to see you here, Turtle. I wish you plenty of cheesecake and lots of pickles. :)

  4. Caprice Hokstad

    So you like pickles but not tomatoes? I understand the chocolate, cheesecake, and the strawberries, but I’m a little stumped by the less-common food references here. Does anyone put pickles on cheesecake? Or is that some incredibly complex metaphor I just haven’t fathomed?

  5. P.A.Baines

    Definitely no adoring crowds chanting our names and throwing little pickles here, unless you count the cheesecake delivery guy who seems quite pleased we moved in. He delivers the tea as well, but no pickles and certainly no tomatoes. Although, come to think of it, the strawberries on the cheesecake do taste a bit odd….

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