40 years, 4 months and 24 days ago, a boy was born in Texas. 37 years, 8 months and 28 days ago, a girl was born in Indiana. Over time and circumstances, the two met 22 years, 3 months and 23 days ago. A little more time and circumstance brought them to their very first date 21 years, 7 months and 8 days ago. And almost exactly 21 years ago, the couple became one.
Think for a moment about the years that went by, the months, the days, the hours, the minutes, and the heartbeats. The victories, the defeats, the kisses, the babies, the fights and the lives that are joined so perfectly, their hearts synchronize every night when they rest beside each other. Her staring at the ceiling until the voices and pictures in her mind settle and she can only feel his steady breath tickling her ear. He with his arm and leg wrapped around her… stating to the imaginary foes that they will have to kill him before they can place so much as a finger on her.
That is my life, and that of my husband’s, stripped down the barest of information. Isn’t it lovely?
Have you ever wondered what it takes to stay married? Not only stay, but thrive and become closer with your spouse? You have the conventional answers thrown at you…Respect…Love…Communication. They are good ones, but I say there is something just as important that is far too often overlooked, and I say it is high-time we recognize it. Celebrate it. Embrace it even.
I will now tell you the secret to my marriage. Ready?
We find delight in each others flaws and differences.
No. Really. It is true. I promise. I cannot say this will work for you. But I do know that it is the reason I can lay down each night and sigh as I snuggle in close to my husband. I will give you a comparison of my and my husband’s differences in a few things and you tell me if it has the power to bond our relationship. <wink-wink>
Quinton- He can think about nothing at all. He can zone to a quiet place of oblivion and once there, the walls could fall down around him and he’d be none the wiser. This has been proven thoroughly through 20 years of parenting. Not sure how he can watch a show with 5 kids screaming at the top of their lungs, dogs barking, and phone ringing, but it is an art form I wish I had sometimes.
Me- My mind never shuts down completely. There have been times I woke myself in the middle of the night calling off chore lists and bath schedules. When I worked, I used to take orders in my sleep. Quinton has actually sat in bed listening to me ramble on and on numerous times. Sometimes even placing orders. Now that I write, I have woken to myself speaking dialogue and telling back story. Perhaps I should place a recorder next to my bed and see if any of it makes sense.
***Warning*** This section is completely infantile and if you are easily offended by natural things and a sense of humor that ranks in the range of high school boys ( and most men if they are man enough to admit it), stop reading now and go elsewhere.
Quinton- I’ve never met a person that has as much gas as my husband. I know this seems like an odd thing to bring up when speaking on a lasting marriage but it is down-right funny. He takes great pride in his God-given ability. Being that we have three sons, this has been a big hit and there has been great focus put on leaving stink to fall upon the unsuspecting. They are giddy any time the four of them ride in a car for any amount of time. Quinton loves the idea of the locking button that controls all of the windows. Yes, they are all two.
I have learned to breathe through my mouth at most times.
Me- I only pass fairy dust. No one living will say otherwise. Not one person at Walmart has evidence of me walking through the isles and something about the place making my stomach spit out toxic waste in plumes that have a faint green tinge. No. That cannot be proven and is hearsay. I do not take pleasure in making my children gag and disperse as if a porta-potty exploded. Not me. I have never eaten grapes on purpose as payback to my husband for farting on me nearly every night for the last 21 years. Pfft! I have no idea why he is crying in his sleep and it is so cold, he really needs to be ALL the way under the covers. I am very concerned about his health, after all.
Quinton- Maybe it is a man thing, I’m not sure, but a trend of bathroom surprises has sprung up in the last few years around my house. Much like above, the men of my house (my husband leading the charge) can at least once a day each (they are fed well) be found chuckling around the corner of the bathroom. Of course, the door has been shut tight and the light is off. The idea is to hold the laughter until the other person opens the door and steps in. If operation poo-poo-surprise is a success, they will push the other into the bathroom and hold the door shut. This makes it where the person has to walk in and flush to escape the torture. Then, of course, they have to see the surprise left, or that is the idea going through the idiot’s…umm… male’s head that is holding the door and trying not to hyperventilate from laughing so hard.
Me- I would never participate in such a childish event. I don’t even use the bathroom but to see if my hair is sticking up too much to be considered acceptable. Nope. Not me.
Can’t you, dear reader, see that we have built our relationship on something that will never fade and probably increase in frequency and hilarity as the years pass by? Well, until we lose all control of ourselves, but by then we will have lost a good portion of our mental capacity as well and will think it is perfectly normal that I am wearing a moo-moo and Depends and he has a catheter bag hanging from his overall’s front pouch.
Happy Anniversary, Love. Can’t wait to count your wrinkles and check you for skin-spots. I promise I will use the grinder on the very lowest setting when I remove the corns from your feet and whittle down the talons you now still call toenails.
Peace, love and God’s will.